October 18, 2003
Good news... I think...
Remember that job interview I had this week? The one that I said was the worst interview of my life? How I didn't know what the Ryan White Act was? (I do now, by the way - check it out here).
Yeah, well, I got the job.
I must have sounded like a moron on the phone, too. It's 4:30pm, and I'm in the middle of playing a game at Neopets (more on that later) when the phone rings. I answer, and it's Anna, the woman with whom I was supposed to interview before being blindfolded and tied to a stake in front of a firing squad. She called to offer me the job. And I was so stunned that I think I said, "Oh, wow! Wow! Well, that's a surprise!" Not exactly brilliant or even professional. And then I said, "Well, I'd like to talk to my husband about it, so may I call you back?" At which point she asked me to call before 10am on Monday, as she and the lead sharpshooter (sorry - interviewer) will be heading into a meeting.
Okay, so besides sounding like a teenybopper on an acid trip, I got myself into a bind. I have an interview Monday afternoon for the job I really want - the Health Programs Supervisor position with the city. And now I'm supposed to call the county back that morning with an answer. That seems awfully rushed to me - I think they are really desperate to fill that slot.
So I think I'm going to call her at 9:30ish and tell her I have several questions about the position (which I do) that I'd like to discuss, and could we arrange a telephone or face-to-face meeting on, say, Tuesday? That way, I can go to my interview, let them know they are my first choice but I have this other offer, and see what happens.
I'm also bugged that I said, "I'd like to talk to my husband about it." Not that it's not true - I did want to talk to him. But it makes me sound like someone who has to get "permission" from her spouse before she does anything. And that's totally not the case. Yet at the same time, we don't make life decisions without consulting each other first. So I'm sure as hell not going to accept a job before speaking with him. But the way I said it... I don't know... it makes me seem more deferential than I am. But perhaps I'm just being silly.
Regardless of what happens, I do feel really, really good that I got an offer. Although the job is not exactly what I want to be doing, it is in the field of public health, it is HIV/AIDS related, and it pays well - right in the middle of my ideal range.
So why am I bummed?
It's ridiculous - I've been in a sour mood ever since I got this job offer. Even Husband said he was surprised I wasn't happier. And I am happy, and reassured. But I have mixed feelings about this, which makes me feel selfish. I mean, here I've been whining about wanting a job for months, and now I have an offer and I'm still not happy! What the hell is wrong with me? Why can't I just be happy about this?
I don't know the answer. Part of it is because of this other job that I want, and that the timing really sucks. Part is that I'm not sure if this job is for me (if it's all stats and epi, I'm going to be pissed).
But there's something else too, something intangible and unnamed, and I don't know what it is. But it's present, and it's making me feel uncomfortable. I think I'm just going to sit with it awhile, honor the feeling, and see if I can't figure out what's going on. A good night's sleep will help, and I'll probably write through it at roomtowrite tomorrow. In the meantime, I'm just happy and thankful for the offer, and I'll try to let things play out without getting too hyper or crazed.
Which is how I've been lately, as I've become addicted to Neopets. I think I spent six hours playing online today. It's really sick - I must stop this now before it gets too out of hand.
One last thing - you have to check out this site. It's one of the wittiest things I've seen in a long time.
nesting - September 05, 2006
I'm here!! - August 25, 2006
Finally, some good news - March 02, 2006
The Day That Almost Was - February 26, 2006
can you keep a secret? - February 01, 2006
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