April 09, 2005
bad girl!
Bad girl! Bad Lee! Shame on me for not writing for almost two weeks! I'm going to go stand in the corner now.
Seriously, what is going on with me? I used to be full of passion and vigor for this journal. Lately, when I do write, it's superficial and boring. I don't know what is going on with me. I don't think I've moved past this - I love Diaryland. I visit my buddy list every day (several times a day, actually) so that I can keep up with the events of my journal pals. I love hearing about Lana's daughter's new milestones, about Kristina's school, and about Clarity's adventures. Seriously, I live for their updates, for the updates of EVERYONE on my buddy list (I'm too lazy to hyperlink all of you, but I can think of something cool for each and every one of you! Promise!).
I've been lurking lately, and I don't know why. I'm not necessarily unhappy lurking, although I do wish I were writing more in general, if not in this journal. It's not even that I've run out of things to say, or the time to say them. I'm just not feeling quite as drawn to this journal as, say, a year ago. I love knowing that it's here, and that I can update any ol' time I want. It's like my security blanket (you can appreciate that, Linus, I'm sure). Some days you need it, some days you don't. I guess that's okay, if that's truly why I'm writing so little. But I suspect it has more to do with my own lethargy and fear of failure than anything else. And that is a poor excuse for denying one's creativity.
Perhaps I shouldn't be so hard on myself. Perhaps I should just let each day run its course and see what happens. I'm not doing this for anyone but me anyway, right? I'm not putting myself out there for reviews, especially ones that grade you on how often you write. I've been on both sides of that one before, and it's just not worth it. Perhaps this is just another way of making myself feel badly. Perhaps I need a good stiff drink.
Whatever. In any case, life here at the Casa del Crazies is okay. Husband is still spending way too much time with his mistress (aka "The Residency" or, as I affectionately call it, "The Fucking Residency."), but such a torrid affair can only last so long - say, another 14 months. I'm doing well at work, and am starting the long, arduous path toward my clinical social work license. I've found a supervisor who is awesome and I'll be engaging in weekly supervision once a week with two fellow LCSWs-to-be. I have to have 100 hours of supervision (ideally over two years, but can be up to five, I think) and pass the clinical exam, and then I get my clinical license. With an LCSW, I can practice independently as a psychotherapist, which I think I may end up doing down the road. I created a few five-year goals for myself, one of which is to obtain my LCSW. I think I can do that in five years, although I'm worried about moving halfway through my supervision. Wherever we wind up in June 2006, I'll have to find a new job and a new board-approved supervisor to finish out my hours. But that will take care of itself in time, I have no doubt.
The doggies are good, the marriage is good... things are good. Which is probably why I'm not writing - good is boring. Maybe I need to create a little more drama in my life. :) No, I'll take good, thank you very much. It's been a long time since things have been good for such an extended period of time. Here's hoping it continues.
nesting - September 05, 2006
I'm here!! - August 25, 2006
Finally, some good news - March 02, 2006
The Day That Almost Was - February 26, 2006
can you keep a secret? - February 01, 2006
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